The first night
by livromaniaque
Summary: Wanda can't go to sleep, and Ian helps her. One-shot, set during the first night in the game room. First fanfic ever, so please be gentle.


**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Host. I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Therefore, I don't own The Host.**

Everything was perfect. Melanie had her Jared, and I my Ian. Jaime had all of us. Kyle didn't have his Jodi, but he had her body. Sunny had been allowed to stay, and she had Kyle to care for her, maybe even to love her, someday. Even Doc and Sharon had made up. Everyone was happy.

I was alive. My humans had saved me. They had given me a new body that needed me to survive, as much as I needed it. I wasn't a parasite anymore. For the first time ever, I felt like I truly belonged. I had a home and a family. Everything was perfect.

Except for that rock that was jabbing me in the back.

I sighed and tried to make myself comfortable, without success. I don't like to complain. It is not soul-like at all. But this body was not made for life in the caves, at all. Not only was it too weak to do any real work, it had slept all its life in big comfy beds. I haven't had a good night's sleep since my re-insertion, a week ago.

No-one knew except for Sunny. We were both sleeping in cots at the hospital, and she also had a hard time falling asleep at night. We would spend the talking until the exhaustion took over us. Over her, I should say. It is impossible to get exhausted folding clothes or stirring soup or making bread, and those were the only tasks I could do now.

I sifted again, remembering what Melanie had told me when we first set off to find our family: "You've let us go all soft, Wanderer!" She knew nothing about soft.

"Wanda, why are you wiggling like that?"

Ian. I had not realised he was still awake. My insomnia was one of the very few reasons I was glad Ian and I haven't been sharing a room. I didn't want him to feel pressured or obligated, and I wanted him to deal with whatever issues he might have over Melanie.

As he showed me tonight, he had no issues with Melanie. Soon, we would share our lives and our rooms. That left only the fact that I could not sleep to separate us. I didn't want him to worry about me.

"It's nothing," I answered him quietly. There was no point in waking everyone.

"No, come one, tell me. What's the matter?"

"Nothing. Just go back to sleep." I was determined to suffer alone. I wasn't going to bother anyone over this, least of all Ian.

I heard a long intake of breath, then Ian said: "Wanda, I can't go to sleep before you. It wouldn't be gentlemanly."

He spoke in a light tone, unsuited to the subject at hand. Of course he could not go to sleep before me. The last time he did, I used the opportunity to sneak out and get extracted. How much I hurt him, this strong, kind man who loved me.

"Now, what's the problem? Are you uncomfortable?"

"It's not that bad."

That rock in my ribs was driving me crazy, but I wasn't telling that to Ian. There was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't change the fact that those caves were the only safe place for humanity since the souls took over, or that this body didn't have a lifetime's experience sleeping on granite.

Okay, so the caves were not granite. The actual material made little difference. It was hard and I could not sleep on it.

"The mattress helps," I continued. And it did, a little. I was glad for Jamie and his idea to share those two mattresses together.

"Which means you haven't been sleeping very well on those cots in the hospital, did you?"

I didn't answer. I should have expected Ian to hear what I was trying so hard not to say. My humans were so observant.

After a minute or so, Ian let out a heavy sigh. "All right," he eventually said. "That's done anyway. What's important is that you get some sleep tonight. Come here."

The next thing I knew, I was being lifted off the mattress and unto Ian's chest. I gasped in shock. I could feel his chest shaking in silent laughter at my response.

"Better?" he asked. I thought I detected a hint of smugness in his voice.

"But Ian, what about you?" This new body might be tiny to the extreme, but it still had some weight. I didn't want Ian to make himself uncomfortable for me.

"Wanda, I assure you, I am perfectly comfortable and content." He kissed my hair, and I felt my heart fly at the gentle touch. I knew then he would get his way. I did want a good night's sleep, but more then that, I wanted to him to be happy. I settled down on him.

"Now," he continued. "Close your eyes. Picture yourself in a field. There is nothing around but green grass and blue skies, as far as the eye can see." I pictured the scene he described the best I could. "Turn around in your mind. Behind you in the same field, divided by a white picket fence. You can see sheep jumping around that fence, one at the time."

_SHEEP!?_

My eyes flew open.

"Wanda? What is it?" Ian held his arms gently around my suddenly stiff frame, trying to sooth me even though I confused him.

"Sheep?" I asked in a small voice. I was practically squeaking; with my naturally high voice I was surprised to be within human hearing range.

"Yes, counting sheep. It's an old human trick to fight insomnia. You've never done this before?"

I shook my head. Counting sheep, of all things, to go to sleep! Of all the quirks of humanity, this was the strangest so far.

"I don't understand. How can you fall asleep if your mind is busy counting?" I hoped that this other valid point would hide my true feelings for those enormous, mean-faced, wooly beasts.

"Well, counting is a simple task that everyone can do, dull enough to bore you to sleep. The repetition helps too, I guess. And it's a peaceful image; the empty field, the blue sky, the fluffy sheep. It's soothing."

Fluffy. Soothing. I could think of some other words to describe those creatures.

"Please, Wanda. Just try. For me. It doesn't have to be sheep, if you don't like them. I just want you to get a good night's sleep."

The man is too observant for my own good. And too irresistible. I once again settled on him, determined to give his counting technique my best shot. There has to be something other then sheep who could jump that silly fence!

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump._

I could feel Ian's heart beating against my cheek. It was a beautiful sound, strong yet soft, like him. The humans say that the heart is the center of all emotions. I could see why. I could feel all his love for me, almost as if every beat said "I love Wanda".

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump. _

I smiled and closed my eyes. I saw no fields, no blue skies. I didn't need them. I had all the comfort I needed, there in the dark, beating against my cheek.

I fell asleep listening to Ian's heartbeat.


End file.
